


Happy Man

by moveslikejaeger (believeinmycroft)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:50:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4170126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/believeinmycroft/pseuds/moveslikejaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirstein's life is kind of shitty at the moment. </p><p>He's stuck in a dead-end office job, he lives alone in a tiny apartment, and all his friends are already married and living successful, happy lives. </p><p>But when a harmless April Fool's prank turns into an unusual friendship with the new, freckled guy in the office cubicle next to his, Jean realises that sometimes, happiness is in the last place you'd expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Man

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this great post](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/31yt8w/tifu_by_writing_the_word_fart_at_random_places_in/) on Reddit.

 

 

> _"All I wanted was to be a[happy man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53IlY6TYagw) ..." _  - [Sparklehorse  
>  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53IlY6TYagw)

* * *

 

'Are you  _really_ not going to do anything for April Fool's?' 

Jean sighed and nodded, before remembering he was on the phone.

' _Yes,_ Connie.'

'But why?'

'Just not feeling it this year, Connie,' he said, pinching the bridge of his nose to fend off an impending headache.

'But Jean, you're like, the god of April Fool's Day! Remember that time you put bird seed on the history teacher's car at school?'

'Ye-'

'And that time you covered Eren's entire room in foil?'

'I know-'

'And that time you put plastic wrap around a stairwell and got a teacher stuck in there for  _three hours?'_

'Connie!' Jean barked, trying not to groan. 'I was there, for crying out loud.'

'Alright, alright ...'

'How's Charlie?' Jean asked after a lull, desperate to change the subject. 

Connie's voice brightened. 'Doing great, man. She's teething at the moment so there's a lot of crying, but Sasha's holding up pretty well. Tired, but doing well.' Jean could hear the smile in his voice and he couldn't help smiling too.

'Thats awesome to hear, dude. Again, sorry I couldn't make the kid's birthday ...'

Connie laughed. 'I don't think she minded, to be honest. She spent the whole party sucking on her foot and trying to catch bubbles anyway.' 

Jean snorted, and then there was a long silence.

'Remember the time you-'

'Fuck you, I'm hanging up,' said Jean. 'See you later, Connie.' He heard the tinny sound of laughter coming from the phone before he pressed the end call button and slammed it down on his desk. 

Jean sighed, staring at the cursor blinking lazily on his computer monitor. Connie was right. Jean  _was_ the god of April Fool's, or at least, he had been until this year. Until his thirtieth birthday, at least ...

 

 

It had been him and his little group of friends, all hanging out in a bar. Ymir and Krista were just married. Sasha had just given birth and Connie was happier than ever. Even Eren had somehow found love with a soft-voiced blonde beauty called Armin. They were all so happy, and somewhere between his fifth and sixth glass of beer in an hour, Jean had realised he wasn't. 

He lived in a little apartment by himself at the ripe age of thirty, had a boring office job that barely paid the bills, and he was pretty sure the last time he'd gotten laid was in college. 

It was fascinating, really, how everything seemed to be fine right up until the moment you suddenly realised it wasn't. He really thought he'd been happy. And to find out that he wasn't had shook him harder than he'd thought possible. 

'Jean, have you got the report finished for Friday?' A tentative voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jean looked up to see Marco, a newish guy with freckles across his cheeks who'd quickly gotten a reputation as pretty much the nicest dude ever. The kind of guy who'd help out someone they barely knew, the kind of guy who actually  _liked_ standing up for people on the subway or carrying an old lady's groceries. 

'Not yet,' said Jean. He'd forgotten about it completely, to be honest, but there was no chance he was going to tell Marco that.  

'No problems,' said Marco. 'Was just wondering if you were busy cause, uh ...' He looked away, a light flush creeping across his cheeks. Jean frowned - the office didn't seem that warm, but then again his idea of temperature  _was_  pretty rubbish.

Marco cleared his throat. 'Me and the rest of the guys are going out for drinks tonight and I- well,  _we_ _-_ were wondering if you, um, if you wanted to join us.' Marco finished it off with a smile so hopeful that Jean almost considered saying yes.

Instead, he cracked a weak smile in reply and shook his head. 'Sorry, Marco, but I've got a lot of paperwork to finish and I've got plans tonight anyway.'  _Plans to watch Netflix and aimlessly browse Reddit, that is. Not that he needs to know that._

'Oh, that's alright,' said Marco quietly, turning away, 'maybe next time.' 

Jean nodded and tried not to notice the disappointment that had flickered across Marco's face. 

He heard the creak of a chair in the cubicle next to him as Marco sat down, and then the quiet rustling of pen on paper - probably Marco's notepad.

The legend of the Notepad (and that was how Jean always imagined it in his head, with a capital N), was infamous around the office. It was enormous, so big that the first time he'd seen it Jean had struggled not to laugh, and Marco used it  _constantly._ Everyday, Jean heard him scribbling things down, and Jean had often wondered how the hell someone could actually write that much. And the Notepad, inexplicably, never seemed to run out. Some of the other people in the office had even started placing bets on when it would eventually be finished, but Jean hadn't joined in. He wasn't that desperate. Yet. 

But then, as Jean heard Marco scribbling away on the Notepad, an idea popped into his head. It was stupid and immature and so,  _so_ silly, but the more he thought about it the more he was tempted to do it. 

Maybe April Fool's Day would be kind of fun after all. 

 

* * *

 

He did it when Marco was out at lunch. 

Jean looked around carefully to make sure nobody was watching, and then he snuck into Marco's cubicle. 

There was the Notepad, sitting on his desk, surrounded by pens and papers. 

Jean looked around again, satisfied that no one was taking notice of him. This was it. This was the big moment. This had taken intensive, intellectual planning. This would be one of the best pranks he'd pulled since college. 

He picked up a pen, thumbed through the notepad to the fourth page, and wrote  _'fart'_ in big letters across the page. 

Jean snickered, flicked the notepad back to the top page, and quickly returned to his cubicle, sitting down as an involuntary grin spread across his face. Now all he had to do was wait. 

 

* * *

 

No more than ten minutes later, Marco walked in the door of the office, followed by two other guys.

Jean was almost bursting with anticipation, tapping a pen nervously on the top of his desk. He tried desperately not to look at Marco as he walked towards his cubicle.

'See you tonight!' called Marco to one of the other guys, and then Jean heard him sit down in his chair. 

There was the squeak of a chair, and then a rustling sound. The click of a pen. And then, silence. A minute passed, maybe two. With each passing second Jean grew more impatient.

He was almost ready to give up, disappointed, when he heard a small exclamation of surprise. He grinned from ear to ear, but then he heard a chair squeaking and swivelled around quickly, pretending to focus intently on some papers strewn across his desk. 

Jean heard someone cough politely, but he kept his eyes trained on the desk, biting his lip hard to keep from laughing.

'Jean ...' said that quiet, hesitant, voice, and Jean spun around on his chair, schooling his face into as neutral an expression as possible.

'Yes?' 

'Did you go into my cubicle during lunch?'

Jean pursed his lips together, certain he was going to crack at any second. 

'Nope,' he managed to peep out. 'Of course not.'

'Did you see anyone else go into my cubicle?'

Jean shook his head, biting his lip to keep from smiling.

'Oh, okay ...' said Marco, frowning.

'Why?' Jean raised an eyebrow in faux-curiosity. 

Marco looked torn for a second, like he wanted to tell Jean, before he shook his head. 

'No, it's nothing,' he muttered finally. 'Thanks anyway.' His head ducked from view.

'No problems,' Jean said, then clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his uncontrollable laughter.  

_So worth it,_ he thought a few minutes later after the giggling had subsided, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as he finally started work on the progress report.  _So. Fucking. Worth it._

He couldn't wait to tell Connie.


End file.
